Don’t Let Your Wedding Bells Turn into Alarm Bells: Pre-Marriage Questions from Divorce Lawyers

Don’t Let Your Wedding Bells Turn into Alarm Bells: Pre-Marriage Questions from Divorce Lawyers

Published on 7 March 2023
Last updated on 7 March 2023

Starting a life together with your significant other is a beautiful thing, but it is important to remember that it is not just all love and romance. In fact, there are some crucial conversations that you need to have before you tie the knot, and these discussions could make or break your marriage. Household responsibilities, parenthood goals, spending habits, and binding financial agreements are all topics that need to be addressed before you dive into your marriage.

Do not let assumptions and misunderstandings ruin your marriage. Take the time to have these important conversations and establish a shared understanding of your duties, goals, and expectations. Join us as we explore the importance of addressing household responsibilities, parenthood goals, spending habits, and binding financial agreements before you say “I do.”

 

Don't Let Your Wedding Bells Turn into Alarm Bells: Pre-Marriage Questions from Divorce Lawyers

 

1. Household Responsibilities: Who will take out the trash?

This is an important consideration for any relationship. This must be addressed before you dive into your marriage.

You should never assume that your partner will automatically do their fair share. Assumptions like this can lead to frustration, resentment, and blame when your partner does not meet those expectations. That is why it is essential to have a shared understanding of your duties and responsibilities, along with a clear strategy for how to divide them fairly.

 

2. Parenthood Goals: Do you want children?

It is common for couples to assume that both parties want to have children. However, it is crucial to have an open discussion about parenthood goals once the relationship becomes serious.

Failing to do so can leave one vulnerable to unexpected changes in circumstances, such as a sudden desire for or against having children, which can cause significant problems down the track. For example, a husband may assume that his wife will stay at home to care for their child full time, while she may have a strong desire to return to work. This can be interpreted as a sense of control, which may ultimately lead to separation.

Conversation about parenthood helps to ensure that both parties are on the same page and understand each other’s feelings about having children. Without this discussion, misunderstandings can arise and lead to resentment and frustration down the line. Being open and honest about parenthood goals can also create a strong foundation of trust and understanding in the relationship, which can only benefit the marriage in the long run.

For more information, please review our page on parenting arrangements.

 

3. Spending Habits: Do you really need the new iPhone?

The new iPhone just got released. It is very pricy, but your partner has already placed on order. Surely, there is no need for the new iPhone, you just upgraded three weeks ago.

Financial and lifestyle differences can often arise in relationships.

For example, one partner may enjoy spending money more freely, such as going to Starbucks every morning for a cup of coffee, while the other may view this as unnecessary spending.

These discrepancies can become seriously problematic, especially when there is a difference in terms of income, where one partner’s profession may not generate the same income as their partner.

It is important to discuss these differences prior to marriage and establish clear boundaries and expectations to prevent future conflicts.

Please note that financial control is a form of domestic violence. Domestic violence is never okay, for more information please see this page.

 

4. Binding Financial Agreements: Can we arrange a pre-nup?

Having a prenuptial agreement (pre-nup), also known as binding financial agreements, may not seem like the most romantic thing to do, but it can provide couples with peace of mind and protect their financial interests.

Discussing a binding financial agreement can feel detached or imply a lack of confidence in a relationship, as the relationship should have been built on love and trust. Nevertheless, it is vital to know that your partner might have unrealistic assumptions, and if the relationship ends after a brief period, they could be entitled to half of the asset pool.

A prenuptial agreement can also be a helpful tool in managing financial expectations and promoting communication about money early on in the relationship. Ultimately, a prenuptial agreement can help avoid costly and emotional legal battles in the future, allowing couples to focus on their relationship and move forward with clarity and confidence.

 

5. Conclusion

Discussions about household responsibilities, parenthood goals, spending habits, and prenuptial agreements can seem daunting and unromantic, but they are essential to building a strong foundation of trust, understanding, and mutual respect in a marriage.

It is important for couples to establish a shared understanding of their duties and responsibilities and to communicate openly and honestly about their expectations and goals. By doing so, they can prevent future conflicts and misunderstandings that can cause frustration, resentment, and ultimately, the breakdown of the relationship. Taking the time to have these important conversations before diving into marriage can provide couples with peace of mind and a sense of security, allowing them to focus on building a loving and fulfilling life together.

If you or anyone you know has any family law issues, please contact for a free 15-minute consultation. We are here to help.

Disclaimer: Ascent Lawyers owns all copyright in the text. This article is of a general nature and should not be regarded as legal advice or relied on for assistance in any particular circumstance or emergency situation. To obtain legal advice in relation to your own circumstances, please contact us for consultation.

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